There is so much talk about size, but does size really matter? Even in the Vanilla world there is talk about size. Size of breasts, size of butts and size of the penises. This is nothing new. Thousands of years ago painters and sculptors took artistic license with their subjects. Women were often shown with larger breasts and hips – symbolizing fertility. Males were shown with broader shoulders, larger muscles and, of course, larger penises depicted virility. 

So, what is the truth? Does size matter? The truth is …are you ready for this?... there is no universal truth. Don’t you hate it when writers do shit like that? The truth is, each lady has her preference and often it is more an issue with men, than with women. You guys like to see us playing with a big dick.  Unless you are teeny wheeny, most females do not care about the size and much as they do care about you knowing how to work it.

You can’t do much about the size of your penis, but you CAN do something about your attitude, lovemaking skills and confidence, which are more important than size to ALL of the ladies I know. You have heard this before, but for some reason refuse to believe it. Whether you have a small, medium, or large unit, do not get involved with people that talk about others and are all about size. Focusing on that will make it difficult to keep your confidence – and your dick – up. Is it fun to find the “big” boy to play with? Sometimes it is. The Lifestyle is all about variety. But I can say that it is never a determining factor for me, and some of the “big” boys will not go where the average guys can go. 

Your fears are normal but are just based on myths. I can say from talking with many ladies in the Lifestyle and our club, and from personal experience, those myths are not valid. You have the proof right next to you! If you are able to satisfy your partner time after time, there is no reason to be concerned.

The very best thing to do is just get those thoughts right out of your head. If you are too concerned with your size you are going to build up so much anxiety that when the time comes... you will have difficulty rising to the occasion. We have seen that happen time after time. 

Oh YES! There are a few women for whom size matters more than anything else, but they are the exception, not the rule. For these ladies it is a fetish – just like the urge to spank someone. If you are average, you probably won’t play with them, just like you might not want to be spanked (or maybe you do!). There are also women who prefer heavy men, or thin men, or blonde men, you will not be attractive to, or attracted by, everyone, so keep it in perspective. We have never encountered anyone with too small penis in all of the years we have been in the lifestyle. We have played with guys who are - I dare say - too big. Often very big men don’t get as hard (which is more exciting to me than size) and it’s probably a good thing. If that much blood moved into the penis, they might lose consciousness! There is a comfort issue as well. As stated before, if you are too big, there are some rides I won’t let you in! There is so much more to the sexual experience than just size.

Here are some comments from lifestyle ladies about what makes you sexy, not your penis.

 **  Condidence.. definitely. Even though looks and size may play a role, your confidence is seen before your dick is. That means confidence without arrogance. Sally

** Chivalry ..yes very important.  Chivalry is honorable behavior especially towards women. Betty

**  Playful. I like men who make me laugh and can be playful. A great smile and sense of humor go a long way. Lilly

** Affectionate men win me over. Not so touchy feely that I feel dirty but soft and almost ladylike.  Janet

** A sharp-dressed man.  I spend a lot of time deciding on what to wear so I look my best for a swinging function, I do not want to be hit on by someone who made his decision on his way out the door. I make sure I look good and my man looks good. Come on guys dress for success.  Mary

So guys - relax, be a gentleman. Make the lady feel good and you will be popular. That said - make peace with your penis. After all, your penis is your friend, your lifelong companion, and shares in many of the decisions you make. Be happy with him. Be strong. Be confident. Even though you may be so very proud of your friend, it is also my opinion and the opinion of many of my lady friends; dick shots as the main profile picture, do not win hearts. I believe the term is “cock bombing. When I see profiles when there are only dick shots, my impression is “he is a dick.”  A friend of mine once told me “I know he has a dick, but what about the rest of him?” Be sure you have face shots and body shots, then the dick shots are a turn on not a turn off.

Let’s hear from you ladies out there and remember, I love penises of all shape and sizes. If you see me at a convention, show me yours!

Happy swinging!

Lady Suzanne