It seems that those who sit in judgment of people who are “not like them” are missing so much of what life has to give. Michael and I would like this year to be a year when everyone celebrates those differences. Does it matter if swingers like threesomes, foursomes, groups or orgies? Do you like to see (or be part of) bi ladies playing together? Should you care if people like to be tied, gagged or spanked? Why should it matter if someone is straight, bi, gay, a cross-dresser, dominatrix or trans gendered? As active swingers we have blurred the lines of sensuality, and certainly have opposed the accepted practices of our current culture. We represent a range on the spectrum of human sexuality. What we all share is that we are sexual and expressive, and want to be accepted as we are.
Posts from category "Alternative Lifestyles - Deviance or Diversity?"
Have you ever had the pleasure of meeting people who express their sexuality in the realms of bondage play? Wow! I did not know what I did not know. There is a science to this type of play and a freedom of trust and expression that someone outside the game cannot understand. We have been to several conventions where we were able to view some bondage rituals. Hot oils, red fannies and strange contraptions were the teachers. Anyone who participated left with smiles and a new sense of who they were. What can be more freeing than that? At a convention one year a friend of ours wanted to go to the bondage room and asked that we go to support her. She made the appointment and we sat in the audience. She was being tied up, and then the master used different items to get a reaction and provide sexual feelings. There was also a lady on the cross next to our friend and half way through the demonstration she squirted all over the floor. It was wild!
This year for our Halloween party we had a bondage room and were pleasantly surprised at the interest. There was hot waxing, the magic wand, and the cross. We did learn one rule; do not ever ask your Dom if that is all she has! Next time you go on a Couples Cruise or to a Naughty convention (Naughty in N'awlins or Naughty in L.A.), check out the bondage room. You can sexplore in a safe, sane environment.
The gay community: The members from the gay community that we have had the pleasure of spending time with have given us so much enjoyment. They are open and honest with who they are, enjoy being accepted for who they are and know what friendships and relationships are all about. What a wonderful thing to see ‘couples’ together for such long periods. The strong family ties and the devotion and dedication they have for each other and their community always touches me. The first time we were invited to share in a community BBQ was to celebrate a friend running for office. Empress for the Carousel Ball. The food, the fun and the fellowship was uplifting. Every one was accepting, sexy and just plain pleasurable.
Over the years we have shared the heartaches with many of our friends and the struggles just to be accepted. The political climate in our country still angers me because this country was founded on “we are all created equal”, but somehow that does not seem to be true. (ok no soap box) We have friends who have been in the same relationship for over 20 years. They are a great couple and do enjoy some swinging time. However in the four years I have known him, he has not let me suck his dick. My husband can suck his dick but I can not. “You do not have hair on your face” is always his response. So once at the club when he was performing (as a Cycle Slut) I put on a fake mustache hoping things would go my way. He laughed so hard but still managed to get out a resounding NO.
The enjoyment we get from spending time with Drag Queens is unparalleled. They have a light spirit and very warm hearts. They know how to have a great time and to be who they enjoy being. These ladies are such a close community and have done so much to fight AIDS and to help its victims. Their celebration of life is far beyond what many of us experience because of the close ties with the sadness of AIDS. Our first encounter with these fantastic ladies was the result of a friend’s invitation to a Christmas party. I had no idea what to expect since this was very new to me. Upon entering BJ’s Carousel, the place was alive and decorated wildly. The one thing this community enjoys is lip synching to songs. Some were dressed up lovely and some just for the fun of it and our favorite were the Denver Cycle Sluts; wonderful ladies with hairy beards, hairy chests and glitter all over. Some were singing serious songs and some were singing the wrong words to songs, and others just cutting up. We laughed so hard. We found that we enjoy the glitz and glamour so much that we try to never miss a social event.
It did not take them long to adopt us, not being queen and all, and we sure loved it. After a short time I was on stage lip synching like I was a queen. The first time they got me on stage I could not think of a song that would be fun and entertaining. I performed “Tits and Ass” from the musical Chorus Line. The place went nuts since I was the only girl there with real tits and ass. Have you ever seen the movie “To Wong Foo, Thanks for Everything! Julie Newmar?” The Carousel Ball is just like the movie. Drag Queens from all area hoping to be crowed Emperor and Empress. Drag Queens from all over the country to come for support and the festivities. There is so much glamour, we were over whelmed. Each year this community raises 100 of thousands of dollars for AIDS research and other organizations in need.
As we enter a new year and look forward to the friends we will meet and the fantasies we will fulfill, I would like to remind everyone what makes the Swinging Lifestyle so special. Michael and I have had the pleasure of meeting many wonderful people in this lifestyle and expanding our horizons. We have been very lucky to meet many friends who express their sexual freedom in very different ways. Once we opened our minds and our hearts to the differences, we experienced an explosion of fantastic fun and friends. Sadly, we have also met many who still feel that they have the right to tell others how they should feel or not feel, and how they should express themselves in sexual play. The truth about being a sexual being is “there are no rules”, as long as we do not harm others physically or psychologically. We are all different; having had different life experiences, and express ourselves in very different ways.
The definition of the Lifestyle is about discovering your sexuality, whatever that means to you. Following are a few of the magnificent diverse communities we have had the pleasure of meeting over the years and hope you find a way to have similar experiences.
The swinging community:
So what about those swingers? What is their gig? What we have experienced from being swingers is the freedom to express ourselves sexually; in our dress, in our play and in our fantasies. Swingers are friendly, happy, well adjusted and honest. I was asked once “Why do you do that, are you two not happy?” On the contrary, swingers can swing because they are happy. They have a strong relationship with their primary partner and are only looking to enhance their relationship, never replace it. I could share many of our experiences, like giving blow jobs for beads (why be traditional and just flash?), having my pussy shaved in public and now it is on a documentary, sharing a king bed with 8 people, and finding use for toys and food that were new to us. (I still say food is not a toy).
It is my opinion that there are many, many couples who are swingers, but if you asked them, they would say NO! Voyeurs for example; we know millions watch porn. This is an industry making a pot load of money. It can not be just from single men. People enjoy watching people have sex. At a swinger’s club, in the after hours rooms’; watching is awesome because now it is 3-D. You can see, hear, smell, and if lucky be a part of all the action. If you like to show off your style, being an exhibitionist is welcomed. Find your spot in the after-hours room; make wild sex with your partner knowing so many of us are watching. Maybe you have not reached out and touched another couple or single, but you are swinging! You do not know what you do not know. Reach out this year for some exciting sexual play, some wonderful and accepting friends and the bonus is a stronger relationship with your partner and a healthy sense of self. See you at a party!